Strange ways of Love....

How many times have we got confused about love or no-love? How many times have we got confused by the confusing signals being sent across by the other person? Isn't it quite strange that we take so much time to figure out a simple relationship! ( Or is it actually a pretty complicated relationship? ). So that's pretty strange, isn't it? That we may be in love, but may not be knowing that we are. And we may NOT be in love but may be thinking that we actually are!! :)

They say, "Don't fall in Love. Rise in Love!". So that's where I start wondering..... Does 'Love' brings prosperity and happiness, or does it spell doom for the person? Standard philosophical response would be of course that something as pure and pious as 'Love', can do no harm. But then do we not notice numerous of lives getting spoiled by this same "Love"? Doesn't it waste hell lot of time of those love-struck couples? Or is it like that every relationship demands time? And of course, in many cases we even notice people committing suicides!! So is it 'Love' which is playing devil here, or is it that people themselves are devilish!! Strange ways...... :)

Not having a wild side can be quite a bit of disadvantage for guys. There are umpteen articles lying around which concludes that girls find themselves attracted to bad guys. And this is not a matter of articles alone, this could be easily experienced by us. Haven't we noticed the most beautiful girls of our class taken away by the most notorious, mischievous boy? And it has logic too.

So point is, the nice guys-those with nothing wild and unconventional to show off- are put off on back foot. They are most of the times, on a disadvantageous ground. Even though they might have much better qualities than the other set of guys, they always fail to get a nice girl. Why? Because the nice girls are always lured to the bad boys!! That's really strange, isn't it? But then, that's the way things mostly happen around :) 

Is love all the same in every cases, or is it different in different type of relationships? It is always so puzzling. The love of a mother for her child, the love of two friends, the love of love-struck couples.... are they all the same, or they are completely different? The obvious response seems to be that they are distinctly different, but wait! Some people also opin that love has the same basic threads everywhere. After all, don't you expect a clear commonality between all of them? Care, affection, empathy..... the most basic but important ingredients of Love, don't they bring a clear, distinctive, quite an intrinsic kind of similarity?? So much that we can say that "Its all the same in all cases"? Confusing, isn't it? :)

P.S.- If you liked this post, then you will like these two even more :)  -->>this one and this one 

Is It Love

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Well, I think everyone is confused about what actually Love is. I am myself confused a lot about it (and now please don't start yelling on me- "how can you write on a topic you yourself are confused about, hey man,,, calm down, calm down.... read ahead)

Before I go ahead, I would like to make it clear that henceforth, in this blog, when I say "Love", I am actually referring to Love between opposite sexes (that we youngsters have to most often deal with) not any other kind of love.

Well, you know, this is such a tough and complex question that even if put to some renowned thinkers and writers around the world, will put them to think over it for a while, before answering it. Of course may be Paulo Coelho, Deepak Chopra or Robin Sharma can give you a one line reply to this question but that will leave you more puzzled than satisfied.

May be they are quite thorough with their concepts but why does it take sooo long for us to fathom out what actually Love is, when to say deep inside your heart that “I love her”. Why does it seem so confusing to make a clear distinction amongst terms like- liking, infatuation, crush, friendship and love!!!! Why are we sometimes puzzled about our relationships?

Let’s for example assume that, I like one of my female friend and she has a very special place in my heart but it is not clear to me as to why does she get such a unfair treatment from my heart, I mean even for the time being, why does my heart gives her a special place to live in !!!! Is it just a passing phase, is it just normal attraction that a boy can have toward a girl, is it just some kind of infatuation or is it actually ....well....errrrr- LOVE ?????!!!!!

So that’s it, why do we face such kind of situations, even when we are so mature now (age-wise), why does it take this much effort to figure out what actually we are into!!!??? Tell me, tell me, I am not here to answer this question, I am not writing this blog because I have figured out why things are the way they are. I am writing this blog to sort out my own mess (hey, hey common, please do not start running away, I am sure it will help you too). I mean, I think by writing about these things and by taking your suggestions, comments and views I will make myself more enlightened about these things, and in turn, you too will become more mature by discussing and reading these things here (and do not worry, I will keep some fun factors involved too, so that it doesn’t get boring).

That was the first part of my blog- Description of the problem, here goes the second part-

I will start by posting an sms that I received from my friend Rahil yesterday, though it doesn’t make everything clear but anyway it does give you some idea and starts your thought process. Here it goes-

"Love is not what you see, not what you think, not what you hear, not what you achieve , its all that you feel in yourself....

You are in Love when you touch your heart and you feel the touch of that person, you close your eyes and have the picture of that person, you take a deep breath and feel the closeness of that person.

You are in love not when you think you are in Love (oops, does that mean I am not in love!!!), you are not in Love when you want to be in Love, you are not in Love just because of some good looks of a person (does that mean I am in Love!!!)....

In fact you are in Love when you keep telling yourself you want to be away from Love, Love is when you die for a glance of that person (yes I die for, hahaha ), Love is when you are ready to do anything just for a smile from that person(anything??? Well,errr, ok may be.), Love is when a tinge of sadness in his/her eyes brings ocean of tears in your eyes(ocean??no, but it does make me sad too), Love is when you start praying for the well being of that person even if that person may never become yours ever........."

That’s the end of that sms, and if I analyse my situation in accordance with the above laid terms, I find myself concluding that I am actually ............well, I leave that for you to guess and add it in the Comment section below.

Now, all of you, please do not start comparing your relationships with above written conditions, there are many more things to consider.

What I think is that true love is Unconditional and can’t be reasoned with, I mean you don’t have to have a reason for loving somebody, you love somebody just because.... well.... you don’t know or better say, you can never figure out the reason for loving somebody. In the words of Paulo Coelho(in his book-The Alchemist)- “One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.”

So that’s it, if you can’t find a reason of being in love with somebody, that is one of the things that hints that you are actually in love. You won’t be able to find a particular reason for loving (actually you may have too many to choose from).

Then of course Love is unconditional. When you want to understand “unconditional”, better visualise a child-mother relationship. The mother loves her child despite so many shortcomings. Even when the grown up child goes wrong way, walk over their parents and sometimes parts ways with them, the mother (after some time-period) still wants to be with her child not for बुढ़ापे का सहारा, but simply because she loves her child. So, if somebody is loved , he/she is loved unconditionally, there are no ifs and buts involved. In Love, you donot and cannot find differences, you are actually so blended with your beloved that you simply can’t notice the other person’s shortcomings and your differences with him/her.

Apart from these things, I have just one thing to say, I do believe in true love, and for those persons who think that Love is the business of fools or it is totally useless, puts your life in reverse gear, destroys your career...blah, blah, blah...I have just one thing to quote here for them –

"You must understand that love never keeps a man from pursuing his destiny. If he abandons that pursuit, it's because it wasn't true love… “

-Paulo Coelho (in “The Alchemist”)

Well, I think I should stop writing now. Although still I can write many more things as there are so many things coming up in my mind right now, But this will make this blog unnecessary lengthy and a bit boring for you too.

So that’s the end of this blog entry. Thanks for coming here and going through it.

I will ask you for just one more favour (please do it for me)-

Please leave your Comments or views about this particular topic or about my way of writing (or anything else) in the Comment Section below, that will be your way of appreciating my blog.

Thank you soooo much

-Shanti