The losing Compassion and Empathy...

Image Source:- lonelyplanet.com

Sometimes you do something and immediately after that realize the mistake. But by the time you realize it, you also realize that you can hardly do anything about that. So a sense of guilt encompasses you, a guilt which you can't do anything about! 

Today while coming back to my flat, a poor couple on road, with a kid in the arms of mother, stopped me and pleaded for money. This is fairly common scene in Hyderabad, and I immediately ignore and brush past such people. But this time, the guy called back saying he doesn't want money, even food will be great. I had almost moved ahead, when I recalled that my this month's quota of helping people in need was still pending. So like a shrewd businessman I smelled an opportunity there- an opportunity to fulfill my monthly resolution, an opportunity to get some instant gratification. I turned back, told the guy to come with me and I will buy them Dinner. I signaled them to cross the road with me to the other side, where I knew an affordable restaurant. I went there asked the person on reception, to pack a dinner for two. I paid for that, took the packed food, and handed it over to the guy standing outside the restaurant. That's where I did what I immediately felt guilty about.  While handing over the food packet to the guy, I showed great hurry for leaving, didn't even look towards the guy, and quickly instructed him to move away from the place (so that he doesn't cause trouble to the restaurant owner). All this while he was politely thanking me for the food!! The moment I moved away from them doing all this, I realized my mistake! I realized my mechanical nature, my inhumane approach towards the family, my selfish nature to fulfill my resolution without caring for the intent. But the moment had passed, there was no going back, I could hardly do anything about that. I was in hurry to reach my flat, but once I decided to buy them food, I should have done that with a sense of empathy. That empathy was missing, that humane nature was missing. I did that as if I was doing a favor to the family, with no emotions, no humane connection with the family! Particularly, the hurry shown while leaving them, put myself to shame. I might have helped the family, but the intention of helping was missing. I immediately felt a pang of guilt, which I felt so helpless about. I just promised to myself to do better now onwards... 

The incident made me think, why have we become so mechanical and so self-centered in our life? We are we always in so much of hurry, that we forget there are other humans around, some of whom may need our compassion and empathy, much more than anything else! Money seems such an easy way out. Spend some money and suppress the need of helping with compassion! Where are we headed! Life seems moving so fast that we don't even want to stop think about the pain and suffering of others....

Do INDIANS lack Art of Giving ??

Sometimes I wonder why Indians are so insensitive to the needs of the fellow countrymen. It makes me ponder if we really lack the compassion and empathy that we should have for the needy ones around us.

Having been part of two major fund raising Campaigns I noticed that people don't want to part ways with money even when it's the question of Life or Death for the other fellow Indian. While it's quite natural to be a bit possessive of what you have but I fail to understand why do people don't want to donate even some minimum amount of money for a cause when this can bring a ray of hope for someone's life. 
And though in this post I am talking more of donations, but this applies to other things too be it even devoting some time for a cause or spreading some time for promotion of a cause etc.


People spend money without much thinking on religious rituals and they even give money generously to religious trusts but ask them to donate some money for a social cause and they will give you a stern look as if you are out to loot his money. They just won't like to even hear you and if at all they listen to you then they will make a hundred queries regarding that. I don't imply that they should not inquire about it. I mean, I concede that when a person is giving a particular amount (howsoever little that be), then he has all the rights to inquire about it and ensure its accountability, but at the same time I want to point out the difference in the two cases.


Talking about our elite class whom common men see in high regard and expects to come out with some help, its no better there too. The rich Celebrities, Politicians(good ones), businessmen are all the same. We think they have lots of money, so they would help if the cause gets noticed by them, but its just a big illusion for us. They live in their posh bungalows, and never care for individual cases. Yes, they might be associated with a few NGOs in some cases, but rarely do they come out to help individuals. Some might argue that it might be due to high no. of cases coming to them. But then why can't they spare a little for every few Genuine cases coming there way. And if they feel it unable to help monetarily, then they can help in numerous other ways like by appealing to media, mentioning it on their blogs etc. But no, they just don't turn up with any significant help.

I am really unable to understand INDIANS' lack of empathy and concern for the fellow citizens. Why can't every Indian donate a small part of money for some genuine causes. A student can easily spare Rs 50-100 for saving someone's life and similarly a Celebrity can very easily donate a few thousands for such emergency, genuine causes. But nothing of this sort actually happens. Celebrities donate lacs of money to some famous temple's trust but they won't give a single rupee for such individual causes. Its as if, giving small amount would look demeaning for a person of their stature.


In short, everyone from Celebrities to famous Corporate honchos to the common people are to be blamed for this apathy. Compared to this, our western counterparts are far better. They are far more generous in giving away their wealth for noble causes. This leaves me wondering why we Indians are like this!! Well, I am no expert in this field so I invite you readers to give your opinions on this.
But anyway, here is my view as to why this difference in attitude is there between us and our western brothers.


First thing is that in Western Countries there is no legacy of leaving behind hugely amassed wealth for the coming generations. There, children start living independently (on their own expenses) early and parents get their minds off the worries to support their children. All this may be attributed mainly to the prevailing culture there and partly to the high employment rate.

In fact in the words of the Great philanthropist Warren Buffet-" I want to give my Kids enough so that they could feel that they could do anything, but not so much that they could do nothing."


On the contrary, we in India have family values firmly engraved in our Culture. We remain connected to our siblings and elders forever. While this is very good culture but what happens is that this gives rise to a family-centric approach from the very childhood. So when we grow up, we are less likely to help someone outside our family. We fail to understand that though not blood relatives, but others too are our own brothers and sisters. And thus most of us rarely take trouble to come out and help other fellow Indians.


Another reason might be that Indians are generally quite religious in nature. Indians blindly believe in many religious things and practices without giving it much thought. The overall result is that we end up getting unfairly inclined towards religious acts than some much needed humane efforts. In my opinion, it's much more important to get indulged in some social, humane efforts than following some religious acts and rituals. I believe, GOD can't be made happier by doing anything else other than serving His own creatures. But it's really very sad to see few Indians actually believing  in this.


One more reason that must be accounted for is the financial status of the people. The financial status of the citizens of a country too determines the mentality of the people there. If there is a vast gap in economic status of two countries then it is bound to have some great differences in the thinking of the people too.

Apart from these, there may be so many other reasons and I hope to find them in the course of my Life. But  for now I just hope that the better sense prevails in our fellow Countrymen and they indulge in social causes significantly more than they do right now. I just hope that we INDIANS learn the Art of Giving and make it a part of our Life. CHEERS !!!