March 20, 2010

Is It Love

Well, I think everyone is confused about what actually Love is. I am myself confused a lot about it (and now please don't start yelling on me- "how can you write on a topic you yourself are confused about, hey man,,, calm down, calm down.... read ahead)
Before I go ahead, I would like to make it clear that henceforth, in this blog, when I say "Love", I am actually referring to Love between opposite sexes (that we youngsters have to most often deal with) not any other kind of love.
Well, you know, this is such a tough and complex question that even if put to some renowned thinkers and writers around the world, will put them to think over it for a while, before answering it. Of course may be Paulo Coelho, Deepak Chopra or Robin Sharma can give you a one line reply to this question but that will leave you more puzzled than satisfied.
May be they are quite thorough with their concepts but why does it take sooo long for us to fathom out what actually Love is, when to say deep inside your heart that “I love her”. Why does it seem so confusing to make a clear distinction amongst terms like- liking, infatuation, crush, friendship and love!!!! Why are we sometimes puzzled about our relationships?
Let’s for example assume that, I like one of my female friend and she has a very special place in my heart but it is not clear to me as to why does she get such a unfair treatment from my heart, I mean even for the time being, why does my heart gives her a special place to live in !!!! Is it just a passing phase, is it just normal attraction that a boy can have toward a girl, is it just some kind of infatuation or is it actually ....well....errrrr- LOVE ?????!!!!!
So that’s it, why do we face such kind of situations, even when we are so mature now (age-wise), why does it take this much effort to figure out what actually we are into!!!??? Tell me, tell me, I am not here to answer this question, I am not writing this blog because I have figured out why things are the way they are. I am writing this blog to sort out my own mess (hey, hey common, please do not start running away, I am sure it will help you too). I mean, I think by writing about these things and by taking your suggestions, comments and views I will make myself more enlightened about these things, and in turn, you too will become more mature by discussing and reading these things here (and do not worry, I will keep some fun factors involved too, so that it doesn’t get boring).
That was the first part of my blog- Description of the problem, here goes the second part-
I will start by posting an sms that I received from my friend Rahil yesterday, though it doesn’t make everything clear but anyway it does give you some idea and starts your thought process. Here it goes-
"Love is not what you see, not what you think, not what you hear, not what you achieve , its all that you feel in yourself....
You are in Love when you touch your heart and you feel the touch of that person, you close your eyes and have the picture of that person, you take a deep breath and feel the closeness of that person.
You are in love not when you think you are in Love (oops, does that mean I am not in love!!!), you are not in Love when you want to be in Love, you are not in Love just because of some good looks of a person (does that mean I am in Love!!!)....
In fact you are in Love when you keep telling yourself you want to be away from Love, Love is when you die for a glance of that person (yes I die for, hahaha ), Love is when you are ready to do anything just for a smile from that person(anything??? Well,errr, ok may be.), Love is when a tinge of sadness in his/her eyes brings ocean of tears in your eyes(ocean??no, but it does make me sad too), Love is when you start praying for the well being of that person even if that person may never become yours ever........."
That’s the end of that sms, and if I analyse my situation in accordance with the above laid terms, I find myself concluding that I am actually ............well, I leave that for you to guess and add it in the Comment section below.
Now, all of you, please do not start comparing your relationships with above written conditions, there are many more things to consider.
What I think is that true love is Unconditional and can’t be reasoned with, I mean you don’t have to have a reason for loving somebody, you love somebody just because.... well.... you don’t know or better say, you can never figure out the reason for loving somebody. In the words of Paulo Coelho(in his book-The Alchemist)- “One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.”
So that’s it, if you can’t find a reason of being in love with somebody, that is one of the things that hints that you are actually in love. You won’t be able to find a particular reason for loving (actually you may have too many to choose from).
Then of course Love is unconditional. When you want to understand “unconditional”, better visualise a child-mother relationship. The mother loves her child despite so many shortcomings. Even when the grown up child goes wrong way, walk over their parents and sometimes parts ways with them, the mother (after some time-period) still wants to be with her child not for बुढ़ापे का सहारा, but simply because she loves her child. So, if somebody is loved , he/she is loved unconditionally, there are no ifs and buts involved. In Love, you donot and cannot find differences, you are actually so blended with your beloved that you simply can’t notice the other person’s shortcomings and your differences with him/her.
Apart from these things, I have just one thing to say, I do believe in true love, and for those persons who think that Love is the business of fools or it is totally useless, puts your life in reverse gear, destroys your career...blah, blah, blah...I have just one thing to quote here for them –
"You must understand that love never keeps a man from pursuing his destiny. If he abandons that pursuit, it's because it wasn't true love… “
-Paulo Coelho (in “The Alchemist”)
Well, I think I should stop writing now. Although still I can write many more things as there are so many things coming up in my mind right now, But this will make this blog unnecessary lengthy and a bit boring for you too.
So that’s the end of this blog entry. Thanks for coming here and going through it.
I will ask you for just one more favour (please do it for me)-
Please leave your Comments or views about this particular topic or about my way of writing (or anything else) in the Comment Section below, that will be your way of appreciating my blog.
Thank you soooo much


  1. Yeah! All you said is there but thing is rather complex. Different people have conflicting views on this topic.It is bit difficult to express in words what love is? May it be, If we like a person & don't know why we like is love...

  2. good post ....becoz it is LOVE ACTUALLY

  3. Thanks for the Comment Sanjay,
    I have already written in my second paragraph that it is such a tough and complex question(to answer what Love is), so definitely there can be so many conflicting views.
    The thing is that I want all the conflicting views out here in my comment section, so that it help me better understand what Love is...

    So please do it if possible...

  4. Hello Ravi, I appreciate your efforts in visiting the blog and posting the comment,
    but you know it would have helped me much better had you given a more clear comment(your comment is a bit vague you know).
    I mean what do you mean by "becoz it is LOVE ACTUALLY" ?? are you referring to the movie or is it something else??

    Anyway, never mind it, Thanks a lot for visiting my blog and posting the comment

  5. " I think love is a feeling which is common in every relation, its a feeling which should be there to have a relation, without which everything is incomplete, if I don't love a person I cannot have any kind of relation with him/her,,,,
    And yes, Love between opposite sexes ???
    ok...well according to me its one of the holy feelings gifted by god.
    Love comes from somewhere deep...that just clicks, nothing like I want to love then only I can love.It happens automatically.... that's it. "

  6. Hey Anonymous,

    Thanks a lot for your valuable comments......

  7. a blog as a small comment to your above blog

  8. thats a good may want to try different templates keep writing and join for more

  9. Thank you sooooo much Nicky....
    Thanks a lot for taking some time out to view my blog and appreciate it....

  10. Thanks a lot Aniruddh Sir, glad that you appreciated my blog....
    and yep, I will definitely join as suggested by you...
    Thanks a lot...

  11. shanti i really appreciate your writing...but just want to enlight one fact about love.....u just cant xpress it in mystery is never solved o is more complex then everything nd more simple thn everything at same has contradictions for its own....thts wht make it so special....just fall in love once and i can say for sure tht u will find these words much more smaller in front of tht feeling....ya one fact tht makes it most sweet feeling is its purity. In your first paragraph you betrayed tht u never fallen in love....bcoz its not of any type...its just the same feeling...just whn u will feel it , u will find it same as its between a new born baby and a mom....its equally pure n equally sweet...thts wht u call TRUE LOVE...nyways words are always insufficient.....hope u get tht feeling soon........i appreciate ur effort.

  12. Hello Vijay,
    Thanks a lot for your critical review of my post. I was really craving for one honest, critical comment on my post and I am really glad that, at last I got one. Thanks a lot for that.
    Your comment need a equally detailed reply from me. So here it goes-

    I fully agree with you that Love can never be expressed in words(I have mentioned it in starting of sms part, in the line-"its all that you feel").
    It can of course never be explained in one single story, blog or sermon. It is definitely much complicated than thought(I have even mentioned the same in my 2nd para too), but,but,but; does that mean all writers and bloggers around the world should stop writing on it???If something is impossible to do, does that really mean we should better stop trying to do it???
    My main purpose of posting this blog was to get other's views about what they feel Love is, so that it further makes my concepts just a bit more clear(not 100% clear of course, because that's not possible till I myself truly and fully feel it-(my saying this, though, doesn't imply that I am not in Love right now, I still may be in Love,lol)).

    Well,then again I agree with you that "its the same feeling" in any kind of love. I mean the pure Love will be having same sort of basic(note the term "basic") feelings in all its form.

    But I strongly disagree with you on the point that Love can't be categorized (u have written-"its not of any type"). Do you think that one will be having exactly the same feeling when with his beloved female friend and when with his Mother?? I think it is even Scientifically proven that different parts of brain become active and there are different kinds of electrical signals when with different persons(in Love).So, on this part I disagree with you.

    Then u say-"its equally pure n equally sweet...thts wht u call TRUE LOVE", yep 100% agree with you on this too. True Love is equally pure and equally sweet(whether with anyone).....

    That, I think suffices my reply....
    It was great, pondering over your comment and writing this reply..

    Thanks a lot for visiting my blog and posting such a fine(desired for long) comment here....

  13. Well, thas a nice piece of writing. The topic u picked up is both difficult and easy to write. Difficult because it's kinda inexpressible in words and easy coz it's always in the air for people our age....Anyway, I would say it wouldn't be justifed to comment on your writing skills with just this one, you should try writing on varied topics and probably that'll give you an idea as to what you are best at :) Still, a great blog ! Keep writing !!!!

  14. Hello Mam,
    Thanks a lot for your comment. I can't tell you how humbled I felt when I read your comment here.

    Well, the moment I got the mail notification popping out of my gtalk icon, notifying me of your comment, I was like- "wow!!! Did she really post it !!!". I was up in the air with joy.
    You had become an idol to me when you were here. The confidence with which you took the sessions,the way you carried yourself, your pronunciation and most of all, your knowledge, made me an absolute fan of yours(its another thing that I could never express it and didn't get much opportunity to interact with you).

    Ok,on your view about choosing this topic, I didn't chose this topic after much thought,it was an spontaneous thought that came to me while I was chatting with one of my friend. Anyway, I am definitely going to write on varied topics as suggested by you,in fact just before writing this topic, I was already writing on another topic, but since this topic popped up all of a sudden and seemed more interesting and closer to my heart, I decided to write on this one first, I will soon(may be next 2-3 days) write on another good topic.
    That's it.
    Thanks a lot again , for finding some time to visit my blog and for giving me immense encouragement to keep writing(by posting your comment here)

  15. @ shanti: nw again i m impressed with ur writing , bt i have just one point still in my mind...n tht is love cn't be categorized....the ways of its xpression can be diff though...the way u feel can be diff there is some ground feeling in all case and tht is care u develope in your heart.........its same in all case.....n tht care is nthing bt a ground to your love....i agree with your point but i just said wht i felt....i may be wrong bt i cnt deny my no controvercy brother....we cnt define love.....maybe we need to get more deeper into it....!!!! U write gr8...words usage is also appreciable...but do considr wht Gitika mam said....good luck wid ur writing.

  16. Thanks for the comments Vijay,

    Let's not fight over it. We can have different views on same topic because our perception of things may be different.

    Anyway, Thanks for appreciating my writing...